My name is Lindsay George from Parkersburg, West Virginia and this is my story.
7 months ago I woke up in North Central Regional Jail in a cell with 15 other females all of us sleeping on the floor 2 of us per mat, one toilet in the corner with no wall. When I woke up a part of me was relieved.. I didn’t have to fight anymore, I didn’t have to spend allll day finding ways to try & get money, I didn’t have to sleep in my car in the middle of summer because I was homeless, I didn’t have to text every drug dealer I knew to try and get a deal, I didn’t have to threaten people, I didn’t have to eat cold canned food I got at the local pantry.
Growing up I swore I’d never touch drugs, I wouldn’t drink. I believed the ones who smoked weed were junkies, oh how the world has a way of showing us things. Drugs DO NOT discriminate. I started using meth at age 16 & heroin @ 19. Over the last 3.5-4 years there wasn’t a period of time longer than 3 months that I went without drugs. I hid it really well for the first year or two!! In high school I started skipping school and being put on probation for truancy which then led to juvenile drug court, and being detained 8 times in 364 days but I graduated the program & got off probation!! I went to rehab, I did out patient not once but twice, I did counseling, I took meds, but nothing worked because I wasn’t done I hadn’t had enough fun yet. I kept finding ways to beat the system or to use “successfully”.
In the summer of 2019 is when my addiction got me. It took absolutely everything & everyone from me. It took the place I called home & left me on the streets. It took every dime I had to my name. It took my health & left me sick very often, but I didn’t care. It took my sanity. It took my self respect. It took me to my all-time low. It left me alone in a dark mental space where I felt trapped. Meth & Heroin became the only people I had as I had ghosted every one else because I couldn’t stand to see disappointment. I used drugs to deal with the war going on in my head. Drugs helped me feel normal. Drugs made all the bad things that had happened in my life easier to deal with until it made them worse. The boyfriend I had during the summer, we used together. Drugs made him abuse me, drugs also made me believe that I somehow deserved it. Drugs made me believe nobody loved me & that I was better off to keep using till it killed me. Over the summer I really lost who I was, I lost majority of my morals, I lost everything materialistic I owned. I finally had lost all sight of the person I once was. I was convinced I was never gonna get out of the viscous cycle. I was 100% ready to die, and I had some close calls many times.
Jail saved my life, the officer that arrested me & sent me to jail saved my life, my family who refused to bond me out saved my life, the judge who set my bail saved my life. Had I not gone to jail that day I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t be alive today. I’m so grateful that I sat in jail with no one to call, no one to help me out this time because it saved my life. I never, for the last 8 years of my life, thought I would feel happiness again. I never thought I could look in the mirror and smile again. I never knew that could be beautiful. I didn’t know that I could not only live life but enjoy life. I never thought I’d find the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t think I was strong enough to stop sticking drugs in me every couple hours.
Today I’m free from the gates of hell & I have an amazing relationship with God. I have real meaningful relationships. I can look at my mom and not see the fear in her eyes that she was gonna lose her child. I fell in love with life all over, I started from scratch with a bag of clothes, and a support system that had so much love to offer. Over the last 7 months I got to know myself and I got to fall in love with the real Lindsay. I learned how to deal with troubling times without turning to drugs. I learned that I am enough & that God put me on Earth because I matter. I learned that I’m responsible for the outcome of my life. I’m in charge of myself only. I have accountability these days and I respect people’s feelings. I value time spent with people close to me. I’m happy to be alive, to have a job, and to have gained a lot of things back that I had lost.
I busted my ass to get to this point, I will continue to bust my ass everyday for the rest of my life to make sure I never go back to that way of living. I’m not perfect & every day isn’t the best day, but I wake up every morning and strive to spread love and kindness everywhere I go. I try to carry on God’s purpose for me. When I’m wrong I try instantly correct and make my mistake right. My journey is not over and I can not wait to see how much more I accomplish in life.
NEVER FORGET YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE STRONG, AND YOU ARE ENOUGH. THINGS WILL ONE DAY GET BETTER NO MATTER HOW BAD THE SITUATION IS.
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!
Thank you to everyone who has stood by my side, contributed to this life change, helped me out in one way or another. I have so much gratitude tonight. I love you all.
